Searching for a new church because of white supremacy

It’s a breakup.

Like so many people, I grew up in the church. It was an expectation and a directive from my mother. I did not spend all my waking hours at church like others from different faiths, but faith and having a relationship with God were important to her and me. So, when I moved back to the U.S. after living in Canada for over a decade, I made a vow to find a church and be there every weekend after experiencing one of the most challenging years in my life.

My new vow was significant because I was not a regular churchgoer in Canada. My faith did not change, but my church attendance had. Do not get me wrong. I visited churches on the rare occasion, but I was not committed to attending any church regularly. Living up to my vow once I returned to the U.S. was easy. I enjoyed worshiping, serving, and being a part of a community of faith. It was a big deal and important to me, which made it an even bigger deal when I left that church in 2020.

I was a regular churchgoer, even when churches were closed during the pandemic. Online services were available, and I never missed one. I watched the weekly message several times during the week to stay connected to the message, the Word, and the church. But when the large-scale Black Lives Matter protests started in June 2020, I saw a different side of many people who I once sat next to during weekly service.

Many of the people I sat next time in service, volunteered and served with, and were part of the small groups I led reacted negatively to the protests. Many cloaked their disdain about the protests by pointing to rioting and looting. But the more they said or wrote in various comments, the more I recognized their racist beliefs and ideology. As a Black Christian in a predominantly White church, I decided to protect my peace, boundaries, and the associations that influenced my faith. I decided to leave that church and find one that embraces diversity and is unapologetic in denouncing white supremacy.

I was never uncomfortable attending a predominantly White church. Like many Black people, it is not uncommon to be part of a minority status group. I expected to be in the minority because of where the church is located. In attending the church, I never felt I had to change who I was, reduce my Blackness, or pretend to be something else to fit in. After all, Jesus was suppose to be the common denominator, and He knows I am Black.

I was less concerned with the church’s demographics and more interested in people’s faith and their servant’s hearts. I expected differences in political affiliations, but I believed that they would put Jesus first. In putting Jesus first, there would also be greater care, concern, and a heart for humanity — all humanity.

My breakup from the church began as most breakups do — I started to see the signs. I witnessed cracks in the foundation, and many of the signs occurred in small group discussions long before 2020. What was most unsettling was not the comments from the loudest in the group but others’ silence. I was experiencing and living one of Dr. King’s famous quotes, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Nevertheless, I hung in there because I was committed, and I made a vow.

When mass protesting began in June 2020 after George Floyd’s murder, I really started to see some of my White church friends differently. Because of the pandemic, we were wearing physical masks, but the mask that hid white supremacy at my church was being removed. A social media presence will allow that. In many ways, Facebook and other social media platforms are like alcohol as it seems to remove one’s inhibitions. I started watching the comments and posts from people who were so willing to hug me on Sundays but who were sharing all types of vitriol toward the Black community in their social media posts. The lack of humanity from church folks was not shocking. Instead, it was disturbing and disappointing.

While the members were a problem, my greatest disappointment was with church leadership. They were still teaching Biblically-based messages about love, faith, giving, but they never directly attacked the issue of racism as a sin. It was touched on before a few weekly messages, but the sermon agenda never changed. There were no full sermons and messages that would dive deep and teach about racism and white supremacy as a sin. My only conclusion is that racism and white supremacy as a sermon topic in a White church is highly problematic because it is uncomfortable. But parents do not and should not stop teaching their children about right and wrong because kids don’t like it. After all, we do not grow in our comfort.

An interesting thing happened as I started to break up with my church. I started having more conversations with those who had left or were considering it. The conversations’ intention was not to talk about leaving the church, but the topic came to the forefront organically like most conversations so. Sometimes words were tempered. Others were less so and more direct. Even in having conversations about white supremacy and racial injustice with several BIPOC members, I learned how some church staff members were dismissive in response to racist experiences or how their actions had racial undertones.

In one conversation with a friend, I mentioned that if a church views itself and acts as a corporate entity, it should be more intentional about diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) efforts. While a church may be exempt from income tax, it is not exempt from diversity issues in leadership and among its members. These churches need a DEI strategy. Racism and white supremacy must be addressed with the same level of attention and concern church leadership gives to a married pastor having an affair with a church member or any other actions that do not follow the perceived church values.

An often-overlooked part of DEI initiatives in corporations is belonging. A Society of Human Resources Management (SHRM) article defines belonging “as the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group or place.” Belonging should be easy for the church to demonstrate since it is critical to the Gospel. Unfortunately, doing so is difficult if white supremacy gets in the way. This has been my experience.

Leaders and members of churches can point their fingers at what they consider the ungodly actions and attitudes in the world. It is long overdue that they are called out on their white supremacist beliefs and actions. It is not enough for church leadership to be anti-racist and anti-white supremacist. They must teach what white supremacism is and why it is against God’s law of grace, redemption, and love. You cannot teach a message of Jesus’ love and grace without teaching against white supremacy.

So, I broke up with my church. My faith in God is solid. That is why I can emphatically say, “It’s not me, it’s you.”